Archive | March, 2011

“Monsters” Movie Review

26 Mar

Monster (2010)
review by Illumin-Arte


Directed and Written by: Gareth Edwards
Starring: Whitney Able (as Samantha Wyden)
Scoot McNairy (as Andrew Kaulder)

Last year in November, we had the opportunity to go England yet again, It was myself, my wife, my daughter, and Kyle (SimplyKyle). It seemed that in every Underground (subway) station there were these 8’x5′ billboards advertising everything from movies, and books, to cell phones, and household appliances.

One of these billboards was advertising a small budgeted independent movie called Monsters. The picture itself did just what it was meant to do, and that was to tease, and entice, everytime I came across one of them I would just stand there and look at it and wonder, what was this all about.

After a little investigating when we returned home it intrigued me even more. I found out that this was an independent film, shot with basically no budget (I have heard totals ranging from $10,000 to $800,000), that it was self financed by the writer, director, Gareth Edwards, that the CGI special effects (which were said to be ground breaking), was also done by Gareth, on his home computer, and the locations at which the movie was shot was done so illegally at times.

Needless to say I couldn’t wait to see this little gem, and yesterday I finally did, they say half the fun is the anticipation well let me tell you the anticipation was all the fun. Maybe in my mind I was expecting more than the movie delivered. If you all don’t know by now I’m the first to jump on an Independent film, for instance I thought one of the best movies of 1999 was The Blair Witch Project (even though my friends thought it sucked) and I loved Paranormal Activity (Paranormal Activity 2, Why oh why?) just to name a few.

I wanted to love this movie in the worst way, and I didn’t. It in no way lived up to my expectations, the whole story line was weak, there was a kind of intro to the story at the beginning of the flick explaining how it started but then it jumped ahead six years, and it lost all intensity, I not only didn’t know why the infected zone was there, or what kind of battles there were for six years I didn’t care.  Most of the filming was done at night with poor lighting making it difficult to see anything, the acting was mediocre, the pacing was excruciating, and bottom line there was not enough of the Monsters.

monsters-poster(excuse me but is it not the name of the flick?)

Except for a couple tentacle shots, once in the river, once in a store, you only see the monsters one time (I want to tell you what they look like but I won’t ruin it). There’s also a part, I guess this was suppose to be important, where some glowing mushrooms on a tree are brought to  our attention, it is then explained by one of the locals that these will be hatched into the monsters, okay I know lets just kill the mushrooms, no more mushroom eggs no more more monsters.

There was one part of the movie, where the photographer played by Scoot McNairy was getting passage for his employers daughter played by Whitney Able ( yes they are a real life couple) they pay $5000 for the boat and she’s suppose to leave the next morning but due to circumstances beyond her control (he gets robbed by a girl he picked up that night) loses her passport so they have to cross the infected zone on foot. What could have been an exciting plot in the movie, just plain flopped.

After crossing the infected zone they climb to the top of a mayan pyramid and finally see the wall that was built to keep them out of the USA  (the monsters not illegals although not a bad idea guys) the only problem is there are no pyramids anywhere near the border of US and Mexico.


 Every other review I’ve read of this movie says I’m wrong in my opinion and I will probably watch this movie again to see if there is something I missed, but for now this is where I stand on a movie I wanted oh so bad to love. Maybe if there was a third party, a co-worker or friend of Andrew, filming this as they went (I know this technique has been done to death since Blair Witch, but some movies can get away with it and almost needs this et al Cloverfield) the movie might have had a different flow.

This is just one man’s opinion,

I give it 21/2 bums up

-Photos used are property of Vertigo Films and Magnet Releasing respectively. They do not belong to GeekTheWorldOnline and are intended for use in character and media review in strictly entertainment and editorial means. Their use is protected by Section 107 under the US copyright law.

The Show’s been cancelled: Guitar Hero is No More

18 Mar

The Show’s Been Cancelled: Guitar Hero Is No More
by SimplyKyle 03/18/11

CANCELLEDIn early February of 2011, Activision announced that it would discontinue the Guitar Hero brand games, that includes Rock Band too. Whether or not you had heard about this, you’ve had a month to cope. So it’s only right we discuss why this is best and was foreseeable from the first game. Despite the fact that the public runs through trends quick than Charlie Sheen through hookers. (Yeah I said it, It was about time the damn show ended.)

It comes as no surprise that Guitar Hero would go the way of ColecoVision. Honestly the only thing that I feel kept it going for as long as it did was the abundance of pics you could find of the game’s avid fans……

guitar 1guitar 4
guitar 2 guitar 3
guitar 5

(how will attractive girls, with the desire to be accepted, pretend to be interested in video games now?)

Dwindling sales was attributed to the final decision as Warriors of Rock version on sold 1.3 million copies worldwide. Which downright sucks considering the 3rd game sold over 15 million. (We don’t even have to mention the less than 1 million sold by Green Day Rock band) The real reasons I believe Guitar Hero has seen its last is because everyone of the games are the same damn thing. It was getting to the point that, if bought any after the first one, you were just paying to hear the same songs over and over. Most of which have been long played out by the radio stations in the first place.

Another reason is that the people who bought the first one and didn’t like it or couldn’t figure out how to get good at it, sure as hell wouldn’t buy the next one or the 16 that followed, not including the seven versions released for mobile devices only. As more of the same gameplay continued to come out in each version people started getting bored with it faster. It wasn’t like you had some new and exciting storyline or cast of characters, so why bother buying one based on Aerosmith or Van Halen? If you really wanted to listen to the original songs you might as well buy a CD since they’re less than $10 at FYE now or do what the rest of the world does and download it illegally. You’ll save yourself having to hear the mess ups that interrupt the song because you can’t really play guitar in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point. I am glad that the Guitar Hero fad has been nixed because it had created a group of people who thought they were actual musicians because they could beat Free Bird on expert. It saddens me to see people who have a false sense of accomplishment because they believe they have a talent in a virtual, unrealistic setting.

metrostation(That means you miley cyrus’ brother, just give it up)

If even half of the kids who devoted all their time to the game put even just half of that effort into picking up an actual instrument maybe we wouldn’t have the less talented one hit wonders we now have in their places. Who knows?

You can really only ride the fame for so long. It’s even shorter when you don’t change anything except adding sell out artists (who nobody wanted to hear from since the early nineties anyway) on the cover your game.

It was a neat little game, and probably one of the most successful and recognizable add-on alternative controllers for a console.

NES-LightGun(except for this, or maybe the Sega vibrating vest)

We’ll always remember the countless hours spent with friends forming living room bands and playing to a venue of usually 5. I’m glad to see Activision make a wise decision to “break up the band” because no one wants to see something in music become unwanted and last longer than they probably should, never changing….

black eyed peas(Did anyone even read this article after the pictures of the half naked girls?)

-Photos used are property of Activison, Nintendo, A&M, Interscope, AW Music. They do not belong to GeekTheWorldOnline and are intended for use in character and media review in strictly entertainment and editorial means. Their use is protected by Section 107 under the US copyright law.