Tag Archives: harpoon

Harpoon (a.k.a. Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre) Movie Review

6 Apr

Harpoon (Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre) (2009)
review by Illumin-Arte

Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre_poster02

Directed by: Júlíus Kemp
Starring: Ragnhildur Steinunn Jónsdóttir
Miranda Hennessy (Marie Anne)
Gunnar Hansen (Captain Petur)

” Twelve passengers set sailed that day for a three hour cruise, a three hour cruise”.
I just finished watching this little Icelandic gem, and I have to say it wasn’t a bad movie. A lot of it was your generic formulated slasher flick this time on boats while on a whale watch in Iceland. The inbred hillbillies who are usually in such flicks, are taken out of the hills, and put in the water for this movie (to borrow a term used in IMDB “fishbillies”).

It starts like all the formulated slasher flicks of its kind, but instead of a group of friends, it’s a group of tourists, from all parts of the world, who are there for a whale watch vacation. Unfortunately there was not enough time, or effort, on the scriptwriter’s, or director’s part to build any relationship between the viewers and characters, so like in a lot of the less successful films in this particular genre you just didn’t care. You didn’t care for the innocents that are being killed, or the fishbillies, that are doing the killing. So at this point, and hopefully without spoilers, I will start at the beginning of this meza meza, maniacal, murder, movie.

At the beginning all the tourist gather on the dock for the big whale watch, it is your typical diverse group you find in a lot of movies (and I don’t in anyway want to sound racist), but there is an unusual way the Icelandic people have of representing (or should I say the stereotyping of nationalities). I don’t want to go into detail with each and everyone in the group because it would just take too long, so instead I will give you just an example of what I mean, there was the domineering Japanese husband with lines like (and I write this just like he says it) ” so solly for my dumb stupid, ugry wife”, his subservient wife, and their girl servant, there is the black guy complete with Jamacian accent who’s gay (so they covered two birds with one stone) the typical air-headed blondes, three butch German women, and one very obnoxious French men (  a constant reminder of why the rest of the world dislike the French).  There is the whale watch captain, complete with white hair and beard and weather worn face played by believe it or not Gunnar Hansen

LeatherFaceGunnar
(uncanny resemblance)

For those hardcore horror fans you know the name, for those who don’t Gunnar Hansen played the original leatherface in Tobe Hooper’s 1974 “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, only this time he does the dying (due inadvertently to the frenchman). There is also his mate who turns out to be a rapist, and a coward, who screws with the only lifeboat, when it’s needed most. But wait there’s more, now the moment we’ve all been waiting for….. herrrres the fishbillies.

Harpoon-The-Reykjavik-Whale-Watching-Massacre

To make a long intro short when the Capt. died and the mate screwed, they used the radio to call for help, the fishbillies intercept the call, and one of them shows up in a small boat. They think they are rescued, but instead of taking them to a dock he takes them to his big ole boat. The fishbillies are your typical inbred family; a mother, the muscle, and the hunchback who thinks he is the ladies man. We find out that the reason they kill and torture everyone is because they blame the tourists for the fact that there is no more whale hunting in Iceland,(thank you Greenpeace or like the hunchback says greenpiss), and they have been lowered to making handmade souvenirs for the whale watching tourists, well that and they’re also freaking psycho.  As usual there are as few spoilers in my review as possible, so what happens on the boat you have to, rent the movie, or watch it on instant viewing to see the outcome.

The cool thing about this movie and here it comes (I said a few lines ago I don’t do this type of thing I lied so sorry).

***ENDING SPOILER ENDING SPOILER***

They all die except for one who turns out to be as bad as the fishbillies and you don’t expect who it is, ironically the black man dies like the hero in George Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead’s twist ending, one dies Open Water style, and one gets an Orca revenge, this whole ending made the movie worth watching.

I give this movie 2 1/2 bums up

 

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